Family & Relationships

Post Divorce: How to Do Things Alone

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So the divorce is finalized, you had a post-divorce party and everyone has left. You are single again – what now? Here are our best tips on how to do things alone.

While at first being alone after divorce can be scary, isolating and lonely, it does get easier. Once you learn how to be comfortable being alone after divorce, you may find that you feel empowered, independent, peaceful, self-confident and self-loved.

Here are some things you can do with your new time to yourself.

  1. Stop worrying about being alone. Remember you were alone before you were married. It’s time to get back into that mindset. Not to mention, if you have kids, you will never really be alone. And if you don’t have kids, you will never be alone if you have family and friends who love you.
     
  2. Try a new hobby. What did or do you like to do? Write, sing, take a cooking class? Try something new or get back into something you used to do. You will be fulfilled, happy and too focused to think about the fact that you are alone.
     
  3. Never say no to plans. Scenario: A person asks you out that you are not attracted to, so you decline. This is wrong! What’s wrong with having a new friend? It could lead to more friends, and maybe another special someone. Plus, he might be interesting or smart, or he may teach you something. Go, go, go!! Also, “I’m too tired” should not be in your vocabulary! The thing is, you may not want to do something that you were invited to do, but you will never meet anyone staying home, so get out of your house!
     
  4. Start having people over. Buy a couple bottles of wine, some gourmet cheese and crackers, rent a movie and invite some friends over. You’d be surprised at how many people will be delighted to get your invitation. Then, after the first party, start cooking a little bit. Your parties will get more and more elaborate and more fun. Entertaining in your home can be really enjoyable and makes you feel hospitable.
     
  5. Learn how to be in your house alone. This was really hard for me to do. If you have an alone day, remember all those times you wanted time to yourself. Here is that time. Watch a movie, garden, read a good book in silence, cook for yourself, clean out a closet, garden, write in a journal, read the newspaper, call a friend and be on the phone for hours or clean out your wardrobe. The list is endless. Enjoy it!

There are many other things. Think about what you like to do. Don’t rush into a bad situation to avoid being alone. If finding someone interests you, take your time and find the right person. It will take some time and that will be okay. In the meantime, use your alone time and find something new about yourself!

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